Always the first signs
spring, summer, fall and winter.
Throughout the course
of our seasons
hoot of an owl
that one tree that sways
without even the hint of a breeze
At night as I drive along city or country roads, the street lamp goes out and I say hello back to you. In my mind, clearly, there is no other reason for one single lamp to quickly dim other than for you to let me know that you’re watching over me.
How many people silently miss the ones that they’ve lost? It’s isolating. Not something we talk about or share with others. We like happy, not sad.
I wonder, will we be reunited with our lost loves? I like to think it will be one magnificent reunion. The thought soothes and makes me smile.
In Memory: Julie, Lloyd, Alice, Steve, Gladys, Dad, Alan, Doug, Shirley, Normy, Richard, Dude, Lisa, Mama, Pat A., Libby, Duane
After a wonderful dinner that included a heavenly margarita, my girlfriend and I stood outside in the parking lot talking about life. It was a crisp, sunny, fall evening and simply perfect for a female bonding conversation.
CC’s words had quite a lasting impression, as it is two weeks later and here I am pondering it.
We talked about online dating, men we have dated and also the difference in dating after the age of 40 and 50. My comment, ‘I prefer meeting someone for the first time in person rather than online. You have an opportunity to assess any attraction, watch their mannerism and of course flirt!’ CC’s comment; ‘Well, they don’t look anymore so I’m not likely to catch someone’s eye.’ Her statement made me think and also made me feel sad for her and the rest of aging singles. Sure, I don’t get the looks that I did while in my twenties and thirties, but when I was in my twenties and thirties, I rarely noticed and still rarely pay attention anyway!
I was born with an above average dose of self confidence, but still, the thought of not being attractive (both inside and out) to the point of not being noticed for the rest of my life (even via my award winning personality 🙂 ) leaves me just a tad bit anxious and feeling quite selfish. I have lived my life independently, yet with my choice of partners. I’m quite comfortable with who and where I am today, but do wonder if I will reach a point when I’m not.
My former Father-In-Law passed away a few days ago. They were married more than sixty five years and rarely spent a day apart. Recently and just one day prior to his death, his wife shared, ‘I haven’t slept separate from him in as long a time as I can remember. I am going to miss talking with him and feeling his body next to mine.’ She is nearly ninety years old and all I could think of, ‘They don’t look anymore.’